I’m gonna puke. All these stories of exploits and successes. All the bragging. All the egoistic narratives not going anywhere.
This bar hop was a mistake. Meet some strangers, get some friends, get the brain off work. No obligations, no goals. Bliss.
And here I am, at 5 AM, sitting and being an equivalent of a mental urinal. To a guy that clearly needs a therapist. And smells of shitty alcohol. Yes, even more than expected from a bar encounter.
So I go back to my early moments. (Remembering to rhytmically nod and open eyes in surprise at his obvious cues.)
“This is not girly. You shouldn’t’ve kicked him in the balls.” “There’s danger in being to disagreeable.” “You’re just searching for problems on your sorry ass, dear.”
I did find problems, and many. My adolescense was filled with “what the fuck did you just say bitch?” So it was inevitable that I'll get tired of that. And tone myself down.
He keeps spilling his stuff. I’m smiling at some moments, clearly causing extatic spikes in him. A pretty girl likes my story!
The bartender keeps watch over us two. She senses it all, despite all my adaptations and tricks. Because she’s a “she,” maybe? Taught to be pretty and polished. And ending up a bartender, in an outcast bar anyway. The irony.
She feels something, and checks up at times. Asking if we need something. And oh does he need a lot!
Did I just say “we?” Ugh.
So I imagine his fantasy of life, having long suppressed my own fantasies. Mira, a beautiful girl that he met in a bar. Understanding him with all his skeletons in the closet. Liking his hobbies (not that there are many.) Emphathetically sighing on the stories of his misfortunes. (Yes, it’s that stage of bar conversation.)
She goes on a couple more dates with him. They eventually have “wild sex.” She warms up to him even more, and the official relationships begin. She’s the softest fluffiest prettiest person to live with. Always supportive and emphathetic.
And her blow jobs…
— Hey, Alex, it’s fun and all, but have you considered shutting up?
Silence. Finally.
CC-BY 4.0 2022-2026 by Artyom Bologov (aartaka,) with one commit remixing Claude-generated code. Any and all opinions listed here are my own and not representative of my employers; future, past and present.